I have lived alone for the last 8 years. When I was getting divorced, living alone was one of the things that I was most afraid of. Having gone from family to roommates to my marital home, I had no experience with it. As it turned out, I actually love living alone. My own space in the world. A sanctuary designed specifically for me. A place where the only needs that mattered were my own.
And now, I’m on the bittersweet journey of selling my home and moving into a new home with my new partner. Who, I should mention is also used to living alone. It has taken us 5 years to take this step. And I will be honest and say that it has not been easy for either of us. In addition to feeling “sadexcited” (sad at leaving my sanctuary and excited for what lies ahead), there have been challenges, disagreements, and arguments over both big and little things. Who knew picking out furniture and décor was going to be so…well...interesting.
It has required a whole new level of compromise that in full transparency I wasn’t always ready to make. Living alone will do that to you. You know what they say about being set in your ways as you age. LOL! We have managed through all of the obstacles with a happy ending. Yay!! It’s required (both of us) coming back again and again to the big picture vision of the life and relationship we want and then taking the necessary actions even when it feels uncomfortable at the moment.
And it dawned on me that this is just another reflection of what has been true of every part of my midlife reinvention.
Feeling sad for what was ending while being excited about new possibilities. We can hold two truths.
Going to some dark places as I worked through old programming and conditioning that stood in the way of showing up as my best self.
Navigating pivots and obstacles I could never have expected as I built my business.
Taking a hard look at my own actions to recover my health from burnout.
None of it was easy or comfortable, but what has got me through every time has been returning to the big picture vision of the life I want for my kick ass next chapter. My dreams and desires have kept me stepping forward no matter how much discomfort and resistance I feel. As they say to get something you’ve never had, you have to do things you’ve never done.
Do you have a dream or vision for the life you want? An anchor that will keep you moving forward when things feel hard?
In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt:
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”.